dating guide for cool pinoys

4 02 2007


the love month is now upon us, and for all those whose Christmas is cold, don’t let Valentine’s Day be equally cold, if not worse…

and, to all of you who doesn’t have a date yet, i pity you here is a dating guide so that you can finally experience that first kiss you’ve always been yearning for, but cannot seem to get…

i have this girl i’ve been eyeing… can i text or call her for a date??

by all means, communicate with her one way or another using your cellphone… she’d think you’re cool… or better yet, save up all those credits and simply text her something like “dig kta, dig mo me? date tau!!” or something along those lines… then wait by your phone the whole day, you just might miss her response… and when she does respond, don’t text right away… she might think you’re eager… and that’s uncool…

a friend is setting me up for a blind date… how can i be sure it won’t bomb??

because you are so cool and can’t be bothered to find your own date, you’d rather wait for a friend to set you up… if you go that route, your blind date is already on its way to blowing up in both your, and your date’s, faces… but if you really want to go ahead with the blind date, keep an open mind about it… to be really really sure, agree on what you both will wear, but you wear a totally different thing, then go to the location… scout her first, and if she’s nothing short of beautiful, simply tell her that you tripped over yourself going to the date that you messed up your clothes… but if she’s butt-ugly, then run like there’s no tomorrow…

but then again, an ugly date is better than nothing!!

what’s the best set up for a first date??

if you ask other people, they will always say “location, location, location!”… but that is not entirely correct… the only one factor can say this is the size of your wallet, or rather, the amount of money it contains… if you have enough to bring her to a fancy location, but nothing afterwards, don’t!! bring her instead to those classy, yet affordable, coffee houses which are sprouting like toadstools around the metro… go to Starbucks or Gloria Jean’s, order for her a Guatemala Casi Cielo or something with an equally ambiguous, but delicious sounding, name, and she’d be so happy for it, she’ll be ready to jump you the minute you two are alone….

for you?? better save for that motel bill second date you’d definitely be having after tonight, so order a small cup of brewed coffee instead… claim that you are a black coffee-only guy and see her eyes light up for you… coolness point for you, bro…

can i date girls sabay-sabay??

abatopkors!! by all means, date all the girls you can ask, or cajole, or blackmail… nothing’s stopping you, except, or course, again, the size of your wallet… or the girl’s father or boyfriend or big brother… or dog… you are the master of your own universe, and that means you can do whatever you want… that is, if you can get women to go along with you…

should i offer to pay??

are you crazy?? why should you if she’s willing?? i mean, when she calls for the bill, then it is only expected that she’d pay, right?? so, wait until it is either closing time, or the girl you’re with is finally fed up with your tightfisted [hey, throwing money isn’t cool, right??] errrr, personality that she’d call for the bill, and simply sit back while she grudgingly pay’s for it… that way, you’d have money left for that motel bill second date that’s so sure to come… ain’t being cool great??

how do i prod the girl for a second date??

huwwaaattt?? and here i was thinking you were cool… tsk tsk tsk… you don’t!!

let her do all the prodding she wants, you just maintain your ‘ol cool attitude… if you don’t ask, she definitely will… and if she doesn’t?? then it’s her loss, not yours… there are other worms fish in the ocean waiting to be left alone baited by the likes of you…

ok, i managed to get a date, what’s next??

you did?? errr, i mean, good for you!!

now, for the hard part: keeping her interested in you so that you can get that first kiss you’ve been wanting the last 30 years of your oh-so-cool life…

talk about yourself, what you want in life [to get a kiss], your dreams [to get a kiss], and your aspirations [to get a kiss]… [one track mind, aren’t we??] don’t let her open her beautiful mouth anymore… beautiful women are for looking at and talking to… not for talking back…

and if you do manage to get her to a taxi [what?? no car??] on the way to a biglang liko, don’t forget to have your point-and-shoot camera [if you have] or your trusty camera phone ready, and take pictures [and movies, if you can] of the both of you shagging… she’d like that… there’s nothing more cooler than seeing yourself being shagged to boredom plastered all over the Internet… again, coolness points for you…

the deed is now done, i am happy, and i am sated… what do i do now?? do i take her to my place for a little nightcap [and hopefull a little more shagging]?? or i take her straight to her home [and hopefully a little more shagging]??

naaww… let her on her way and you go yours… that way, no feelings of attachments get in the way… besides, she’d like that better… let her think she can still salvage a part of her night and call that uncool guy she was seen hanging around with and have a real-to-goodness date… women and their illusions!! bah!!


these, and some others unmentionables [like bringing date rape drugs, just in case, with you… or having your lola along to ask her out again so very nicely] are my take on how to be a cool guy and still get a date this coming February 14th… oh, and don’t bring her flowers and chocolates anymore if you DO manage get a date… that will only lessen your budget some, and that ain’t cool…

Ciao, sweetie… 8)




One response

4 02 2007
Pinoy Blogosphere

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