The Ingredients of a Successful Coup d ‘etat [or Why Rebellions do not work here in the Philippines]

28 07 2003

I was thinking [that’s new]…

What made me think was about the supposed coup d ‘etat of the Magdalo Class [Class ‘95 of the Philippine Military Academy] did yesterday. The Magdalo group took over the Oakwood Hotel in the Philippine’s primary business district, Makati. Well, for those who do not know [who doesn’t by now?], the Magdalo class staged a coup at the Oakwood because they [according to them] want reforms in the government and the military for several reasons. But what got my attention was the way they did it [the coup] and what was missing.

So, if I was to stage my own coup, what are the ingredients needed?

Number one: I would need an ideal, a theme. With the past civil disobediences staged, they always have a theme. With the original EDSA revolt, it was “oust Marcos” because of the massive election fraud that happened in 1986. In EDSA II, it was “oust Estrada” brought about by the barring of some evidences by some senators in the ongoing impeachment proceedings. A theme is very important in such stagings so that people can relate to whatever is happening, they now what they are rallying for, and the cry of the people is one.

Number two: there must be a presonality everyone will rally behind of. Now this is very important. For every attempts at a coup or a rebellion, the people must know the personality behind every proceedings. For example, there was Cory Aquino, Fidel Ramos, Juan Ponce Enrile, and Jamie Cardinal Sin who rallied the people into revolting against the regime of Marcos in EDSA I. And there was Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, Supreme Court Judge Hilario Davide, and, of course, Jaime Cardinal Sin [sino pa?] for EDSA II. Notice the trend? Every event must have a known personality or celebrity running the show [or even just seem like running the show]. People can relate very well especially to celebrities.rnrnAnd number three: There must be the support of the general public, the Catholic Church, the Iglesia ni Cristo Church, the “masa”, and the indigents. Without them, your cause will surely fail. Like the coup yesterday at the Oakwood failed. Sure, you may have garnered a moral victory, but what is that worth in these day and age? What can a moral victory give you when you will soon be shackled up at the barracks awaiting your court martial?

I have nothing against the Magdalo group. In fact, one of the mistahs of the group is the husband of my classmate. And I consider him a friend [even if he does not]. In fact, too, I sympathize with their cause and their call. I would want to see somebody’s head roll in the Davao bombing and the alleged sale of munitions to rebels and terrorists. Oh yes, I would want that. But this is not the way to do it, gentlemen. There are other non-destructive ways, like: you can pay for [less that you paid for the staging of your coup] a full-page advertisement in major dailies. This way, not only is Metro Manila your audience, but the whole Philippines as well, if not the whole world. Or, probably, you could do a hunger strike. People will be more tolerant of you guys, because they can relate to your cause much more easier, than you taking up arms against the law.

Anyway, right as I was about to finish this off, an email from a friend was forwarded to me, which was also forwarded to her, which was also… well, you get the idea. What the email does is it lampoons the coup yesterday, and well, let me just give it to you straight and let you judge for yourself. Okay?

Mahal kong Lt. SG Antonio Trillanes IV,

Magandang umaga. Nawa’y maigi ang iyong kalagayan d’yan sa stockade. Magpahinga ka muna bago ka humarap sa court martial. Hindi bale nang litisin ka, nakapag-stay ka naman sa Oakwood, samantalang kami, pinaasa mong walang pasok ngayon. KJ ka talaga.

Sinulat ko ang liham na ito para puriin ka sa iyong kagitingan na ipaalam sa buong sambayanang Pilipino ang kabulukang nangyayari sa ating gobyerno. Mabuhay ka.

Ang problema nga lang, alam na namin lahat iyon, Kapitan Trillanes.

Hindi na ninyo kailangan pang magtanim ng bomba at magpapogi sa inyong mga fatigues para lang ipaalam sa buong madla na may mga katiwalian sa gobyerno.

Hindi tuloy ako nakapanood ng Terminator 3, eh malapit nang mawala sa sine ‘yon. Okay sana kung nagbakbakan kayo ng mga sundalo ng gobyerno. Mala-THE ROCK saka DIE HARD sana ang nangyari. Kaso, nagsisisigaw lamang kayo sa lobby ng Oakwood. Para ano pa ang inyong mga armband?

Sabagay pwede na kayong magtayo ng boutique na ang brand name ay Magdalo. Pwde kayong magtinda ng mga armbands, fatigue-inspired pants, caps at shades. Ipwesto nyo dyan sa Oakwood para strategic ang location at may sentimental value pa. Bebenta kayo, promise.

Sa launch ng inyong boutique, pwede kayong maglagay ng mga bomba sa parking lot tapos magpaparty kayo doon. Masaya di ba?

Mabalik tayo sa layunin ng liham na ito. Yung sinasabi mong nagbebenta si Secretary Reyes ng bala sa mga rebelde, aba, lumang balita na ‘yan. Alam na naming mga ordinaryong tao yan. Bakit?

Kaugalian na nating mga Pilipino ang mag-sideline di ba? Sa opisina nga namin may nagtitinda ng tsinelas, beads, tocino, tapa, muffins saka bags.

Eh hayaan mo nang magbenta si Secretary Reyes ng bala sa kanila, baka gawang Taiwan lang naman yung mga bala na ‘yon. Mahirap buhay eh, magkano lang naman sweldo ni Secretary Reyes. Malamang lumilihis yung mga bala o kaya puro supot.

Yun namang sinasabi mong si GMA ang nag-utos ng pambobomba sa Davao, alam na rin naming mga Pilipino ‘yon. Kaw naman, Kapitan Trillanes, sa pagka-tsismoso nating mga Pilipino, sino ba naman hindi nakakaalam na gobyerno gumagawa ng mga kalokohang ‘yon?

Plaza Miranda, Jabidah Massacre, pagpatay kay Ninoy, Rizal Day bombings, at kung anu-ano pang kababalaghan, alam na naming gobyerno gumagawa. Hindi naman kami istupido noh! Sabi nga ng mga taga-Assumption, “We’re not like tanga naman…”

Ang drama-drama mo masyado, eh kami namang mga ordinaryong tao tinatawanan na lang mga katiwalian sa gobyerno. May linya ka pang “we’re ready to die for our principles.”

Huuu…if I know, gusto mo lang magpa-spa sa Oakwood kasi sira na ang iyong kutis dahil sa kagat ng lamok sa Basilan. Dapat sinabi mo na lang sa akin, may murang spa dyan sa Quezon Avenue, may “extra” pa.

Ayan tuloy, nagsara Glorietta ng isang isang araw. Lagot ka, milyon nalugi sa mga Ayala. Baka pabayaran lahat sa ‘yo yan. At saka naman Kapitan Trillanes, next time kayo magta-take over ng anumang lugar, ‘wag naman sa mall. Hindi bagay sa inyong mga fatigues and armbands. Sino ba scriptwriter ninyo? Tsugiin! Mali ang location ng action! Ni walang symbolic o strategic meaning ang Oakwood.

Hindi kayo nanood ng THE ROCK ano?

Hay nako, may pasok tuloy ngayon. Nabitin kami. Pogi points ka pa sa mga girls kasi ang guapo mo sa fatigue. Yun nga lang, you didn’t die for your principles. May paiyak-iyak and hug pa kayo.

Kaya kayo tinatawanan ng Abu Sayyaf, malalambot ang puso ninyo, madrama kayo masyado. Ganyan ba kayo sa Basilan? ‘Pag rat-ratan na, nagyayakapan na lang kayo at umiiyak? God, it’s so nakakahiya naman to the enemy.

Hay nako, Kapitan Trillanes, mag-direct ka na lang ng pelikula ha? Tingin ko mas magaling ka pa kay Ang Lee kasi militar ka talaga. Maganda yung mga subplots na naisip mo. Maganda rin yung mga dialogue mo.

‘Pag nag-direct ka na ng movie, make sure may bakbakang matindi sa huli. Yung tipong mawawarak yung buong building. Yun, mas exciting, hindi yung katulad kahapon.

Nagmamahal,

Mula sa isang kaiskwela

This is not meant to belittle you cause, please. This is just meant to make light of a situation which is sure to explode in ALL our faces. With that, I end my very long spiel… and I hope you haven’t learned anything from this tirade…

eheheheh… 🙂

Ciao, baby… 😎 .

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