polyamory, is it for you??

(c)

because of the basically Catholic upbringing of Pinoys — which, in itself, is already bad enough — we were brought up that sex is a bad thing [no, it's not!!], that it can only be used for procreation, that we can only have one — and only one — life partner, that, once married, we are committed to this person “till death do us part”, and that we cannot have more than one relationship — sexual or otherwise — with anyone else anymore… because of this very strict upbringing, men most specially, hide their “other” relationships from their girlfriends or wives for fear of reprisal from them and from the community they belong in… bigamy and polygamy comes into mind, then… but then again, these references only reflect states of marriages…

but what if, in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship, one or both of them enter into another relationship with another person, an intimate relationship akin to having another girlfriend or boyfriend?? not in a sexual way, of course [it may be a part, though]…

enter polyamory (poly=multiple + amor=love)… Wikipedia describes polyamory as “the desire, practice, or acceptance of having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved”… polyamorouse relationships is also described as consensual and/or responsible non-monogamy… i know, i know… your restrictive backgrounds prevent you from even considering one other relationship with another… but multiple??

this is not a new idea, though… cave men of long ago practiced this idea of having sex with multiple women [even wives of other cavemen] simply because sex, then, was just perceived as another kind of need — like eating and sleeping — and one that women can satisfy easily… jealousy was still a foreign concept, and sexual fidelity an unknown…

the practice of polyamorous relationship is not polygamy, though… it is closer to a personal outlook than a predefined bonding system and it is grounded in such concepts as choice, trust, equality of freewill, and the more novel idea of compersion, rather than in cultural or religious tradition… it also different from ménage à trois or having an open relationship [swinging] where the only concerns are having sex…

ok, how does it work… from the image on the right, let’s say you are person number one and your girlfriend or wife or boyfriend or husband is number 2… both of you know person numbers 3 & 4, you respect them, you love them, and you want to have an “intimate” [not necessarily physical intimacy, or sex] relationship with them… 3 & 4 may or may not be both women, both men, or a man and a women… the thing is, all of you must “agree” to this setup, be very sure that you “love” the other people of the group, or else, it will not work at all…

ok, taking this further, say that number 3 & 4 have other relationships as well with either, or both, number 5 and 6… do they become members of that circle as well?? from my understanding of what polyamory is, yes, they also become members, but only if there is understanding and consent among all of them…

so, will this work in the Philippines?? i dunno, but i must confess that i am polyamory-curious… i mean, the novel idea of having many partners [physical and sexual] contributing a considerable amount of new thoughts and ideas bringing different concepts into the relationship certainly appeal to me… not to mention you have a number of babysitters when you want to get intimate with one of them…

seriously, though, this is one idea worth looking into, if only to learn more about it…

Ciao, sweetie…
[techtags: relationships, polyamory, religion]

~ by ChrisH on April 6, 2007.