idealism has no spot in the workplace

(c)

as a child, i have no worries except where to play, when my next meal will be, and what time i have to go home to sleep, no worries for the next day, except more of the same… mundane? yes… simple? at the time? no…

as a teenager, my worries grew to such proportions that i found myself worrying not only for myself, but also for others… i was already working at an early age, i already have scores of responsibility, and i already answer to a lot of people… this went on until college, when i have to work on 2 jobs, go to school, and manage a school paper all at the same time…

and through all these, the only thing that does not change was my idealism… that i will not forsake what i believe in, simply to earn money, or to make friends, or to be liked… that i will not stoop to what i know was wrong, simply to make my betters feel happy about me… i wasn’t an ass-kisser… never was, and never will…

or so i thought…

now that i am a little more older and, i hope, wiser, i was forced to stoop to people who know nothing but to push pencils around as well as push people around… i am being regulated by a lot of corporate shit that i am already up to my neck in it… it wouldn’t have been worse if i really don’t know better, but the fact remains that their solution is far more expensive [and much harder to implement] than mine… but who am i, eh?

i have had encounters before with bosses who don’t know anything, and yet maintain that they need to control me… control my budget? no… more like control what i do… i have proven in the past that my solutions far outweight theirs, but because of “nakasanayan na yan e” attitude (”that is how it was done before“)… and now, i am stuck in this job that allows me only a liitle bit of freedom, gets the most out of me, and leaves me wanting to kill myself at the end of the day…

but do i have to take these sitting down??

no… i can do several things, really…

one is to show them that I can do what i was hired to do… they hired me to do a particular job, then they must trust that i will do it to the best of my ability… the problem is, someone looks over my shoulders everytime i make a move, and that makes it doubly harder, since i feel like i am under a microscope… haayysss

second, i can look for another job… i know, easier said than done… but what can i do?? except…

third, take all of these sitting down… i can just simply go along with the flow, not really caring whether the project is doable or not, whether the things they are doing are correct or not… i will just be manager by name…

now, question is: what shall i do??

what do you think??

Ciao, sweetie…

i was raped… thrice…

(c)

well, i have news first… i have now a new job as a janitor of one of the biggest consulting firms in the Philippines, literally… janitor? well, yeah, for me it is… but, really, my current position is Manager of IT Operations, and my job is to clean up the mess of the previous occupants of my position… messes like spaghetti in the data room [literally!!] and the spaghetti-like cables of the PABX and the data cables… like cleaning the ranks of the IT Ops of people who cannot cope with the rigors of the job… like cleaning the servers [again, both literally and figuratively] like, there are about 79 servers [both clones and branded] half of which are not working right, while half of the remaining are redundant servers of the other fourth… haaysss… ergo, janitor…

anyway, as part of the requirement of the job, i need to have myself checked up, and so, this morning, i went to the clinic and gave my papers to the nurse-aide in the counter… i was made to fill up forms, and made to wait a few minutes… the next hour saw me in a whirlwind of activity, from blood check, to xray, to blood pressure check, and finally, to the eye check… and this was where my nightmare early in the morning started…

rape number 1

i was waiting for my drug test [di ako nag-rebyu!!] when my name was called from about 10 meters away… so, i left the line and went to the counter where i was told that they will do my dental check, instead…

now, if you know me, you’d know that i have really terrible teeth, yellowed due to almost 25 years of smoking, with gaps and broken crowns… and so, i was made to sit in the dental chair, my mouth opened wide, while the lady dentist prodded that thing with the mirror at the end around my mouth, doing this and that [all the while telling me not to breath through my mouth as my breath is foggying up the mirror] and writing on my chart… at the end of that harrowing experience, i felt my insides turned out, and one that i would not want to experience again for a long time…

rape number 2

after the dental exam, i was made to wait for just a short while, and then, off to Consultation Room 2, where there was a small bed and a lab gown… i was told to strip to the skin, put on the lab gown, and told to wait… i am not a complete stranger to physical check ups… in fact, i have had several over the years as part of my physical regimen… but today, it was totally different…

so, i was there all in the nude with only a flimsy lab gown over me, and waiting for my doctor… while waiting, my eyes took in the room, the chair, the small bed, and that lady doctor’s frock… errrr… what??? a lady doctor’s frock… suddenly, my heart beat faster and i felt like it was trying to leap out of my body and through my mouth… all saliva just immediately evaporated that my mouth felt like it was full of grit, and i was just so suddenly afraid…

and just then, the object of my desire fear came into the room… a somewhat young doctor, she just smiled at me, and asked me several questions about my condition [which was, at that point, really bad and not getting better]… after the questions, she made me lie down on the small bed, pressed her fingers on my abdomen and asking me if it hurt… just then, she made me stand, turn around, and she just took hold of the hem of the lab gown i was wearing, pulled it up, made me hold my butt cheeks, and i was made to spread!!! goodness!! that was 1 point for her, and zero for me… but it didn’t end there!!

i was made to face her again, and again, taking hold of my lab gown, she opened them, exposing myself to her!! my poor penis just suddenly wilted!! she took hold of my balls and i was made to cough 3 times, released them, and i immediately closed my gown… sheessshhh!! that was so, uhhh, embarrasing… i lost miserably, 2-0…

to her credit, she was all clinical, professional, and impersonal… but to me, it was all too personal… i have gone through the same procedure many times before, but always with a male doctor… i believe, the last time i disrobed in front of a woman without making love to her was when i was still a baby!!

next time, before going through that, i will ask first if my doctor will be male or female… tsk tsk tsk…

rape number 3

and when i thought the worst was over, i was made to fall in line for the drug testing [again, i never studied for this test, so i just might fail this one... ]

each person undergoing this test goes into a room, stays for about 20-25 minutes each time, then goes out… we were standing outside the testing room, so i don’t really know what was happening behind those doors… and so, we just waited until our turn comes… one incident outside: a lady came out of the room all puffed up and looking mad which made us all wonder why… anyway…

when it was my turn, i was just so eager to go through with it so that i can get home already… i went inside, made to fill up several forms [i wonder why they just didn't give out the forms outside for us to fill up while waiting??]… then, an interview followed, asking me the same questions as the forms [my full name, age, sex(??), marital status, and so on...]… then, the guy [!!] doing the interview handed me a bottle and was told to fill it up with pee… again, no biggie, so i stood up, looked around for some privacy, and when finding none, i asked the guy where was the little boy’s room so that i can do the deed… the guy just looked at me blandly, and told me to do it right in front of him!! what??? yes, you read it right… i have to do it in front of him!! so, without further ado, i took my penis out in front of him [was he gay? i was wondering], peed into that empty bottle [the mouth of the bottle is just so small for the head of my penis... really small...], capped it up, and gave it back to the guy…

now i understood why that lady in front of me was so mad coming out of the room!!

the next time i have to go through all of those again, i have to ask questions first… kainis…

Ciao, sweetie…

here i go again…

(c)

haaayyysssss….

here i go again… i have been doing so many things that i have been forgetting to post in here again… anyway, several news first:

• Clan Heritage now have a new blog [the link is up on the headers] and forum site… if you are a Clan Heritage member and don’t know those sites yet, i suggest go to them now…
• with the race to get to level 100 heating up, i have been spending most of my time in-game than anything else… dami prizes!!
• i still have no steady job yet, but still looking for one… so, if any of you know of something, can you please drop me a line?
• it will be Christmas soon… i wonder what i can give my wife?? (what do you want sweetie? hehehe)

anyway, i came from a job interview yesterday [one of soooo many already] and i must say i was amazed at the way that interview went…

first, i was made to take an exam [an exam!! and for a managerial position yet!! LOL] which was, in itself, kinda easy since i used to teach C and most of the questions were in C… but my question is: what do they [the company] hope to achieve in giving exams?? to gauge a persons technical knowledge? for me, i really don’t believe in exams… for one, you are only given a certain amount of time to finish that exam, and the pressure of not going over that time will reflect on the outcome… second, exams does not really show a person’s technical knowldge… i would rather give the person a chance at work and show me what the person can really do…

second, the IT Manager and the CTO interviewed me, which took up to 1 1/2 hours each [looonnngggg] that i thought they will soon invite me to dinner… heheheh i just hope that they are an equal opportunity employer, is all…

there was supposed to be a 3rd interview using conference call, but they cannot establish a connection with the other person, that they decided to re-schedule that…

all in all, the interview was very nice, and i am crossing my fingers that it will turn out positively for me… can you please cross your fingers for me, too?? thanks!! LOL

that’s all for now, folks… my next post my be next year already… i have almost given up on this since i dont have much time for posting anymore… but i am still holding on…

Ciao, sweetie…

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on again, off again, on again, off again…

(c)

yeah, yeah, yeah… i know i’ve forgotten to post for quite sometime, but know that it was not because i have forgotten blogging already… nope, my readers [all one of 'em] are always in my mind, but… actually, everyday that passed since the last time i posted, so many blog ideas kept cropping up that my head is now full of ‘em wanting to get out… but, alas! the only way they can get out of there is for someone to write them down… so many events happend from my last post until just today…

• we moved!! yes, from our old place to a new and [hopefully] better and bigger one… one day, we just decided to up and move just because we are starting to hate our neighbors, but that is another looooooong story in itself…
• i have now a new job!! yes, i started last Monday… you would think that starting means looking around and getting acclimated, eh? well, think again… from the very moment i sat down at my chair, was given my workstation and password, and my email all set up, problems started cropping up… and one very big problem my team and I are having now is the VOIP setup here at the office… we are still looking for the resolution of that problem… getting-to-know-you phase? what is that?? honeymoon period between manager and subordinates? again, what??

  don’t get me wrong, though… my job is as technical as it gets, and i don’t mind the headaches that comes along with it… i am back to Linux administration along with all the problems that come with it… but now, there are more and more newer technologies that i have to learn… there are also new terms for me to find out the meanings of… **sigh**

• you know that i am playing PerfectWorld, right? well, with everything that is happening with my life, the mastership [or clan leadership] of Clan Lotus was transferred over to me… it is just so hard managing 200 players, with all the bickerings and wranglings and petty arguments… good thing that i have trusted officers in the clan, and my second-in-command believes in upholding the clan rules as much as i do…
• the wife and i attended several gatherings over the course of the month… i’ll just leave the posting to her, though, as i was in twilight zone during those times, and all i did was simply to take pictures…

so, there… i know they’re not much as compared to other people out there… but then again, i am a simple man with simple pleasures in life… like, well, you know… hehehehe… oh, and before i forget, Happy Birthday, Lily!! she is a friend from way back in college whom i have met again very recently…

that’s it? that’s it!! see you again next time… and i promise to resurrect my Interestings Friday series…

Ciao, sweetie…

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Interestings Friday #8

(c)

last week was very interesting, indeed!! what with all the drama going around the blogosphere, the wrangling, the accusations, and what-not… anyway, alls well that ends well, as they say… here are the updates:

• from my last IF#7, there was a comment from Jayvee that he has touched bases with both Gibbz and Janette, and apparently, they are now well and good… so, everything is now right 0on that front…
• at the other front, Noemi apologized to Allan, father of Carl Ocab of of Make Money Online with a 13-year Old… at the end, they just laughed it off, and found out that they are both Cebuanos “with quirks that they only understand”… nice…
• in other things, we went to MOA last night for the 2nd round of Taste Asia… will post a story on that later or tomorrow…
• and later tonight, we will go to a private dinner with the Ogilvy people, PR firm of Motorola, for the official preview of the MOTORAZR2 in a roundtable dinner… do i smell a free Motorazr?? hahaha!! i wish!!

that’s it for this week, folks!! see you all again next week!!

Ciao, sweetie…

Interestings Friday #7

(c)

here’s this week’s interesting read from all over the blogosphere [yeah, i know, i totally forgot about last week's... so sue me... ]

the last week rocked the philippine blogoshpere with a lot of controversies coming from 2 fronts:

• Noemi started all the fracas [no offense meant] when she blogged about Ethical Blogging where she asked: “Now what happens when you face a suspicion that the person who created a blog is misinterpreting the facts?”… this is all bout Carl Ocab of Make Money Online with a 13-year Old… apparently he was not the one who was writing but his father, Allan…
• Yuga later on talked with the Father and Son to iron things out in Yuga meets the Kid Blogger…
• a week after, Jayvee of A Bugged Life wrote in his posts Bloggers, MISrepresent! where he is apparently referring to his 2nd post, My Comments and Suggestions for Janette Toral’s IMMAP Presentation Slides… Janette later on answered with her Dealing with hurting people (that hurt people)…
• elsewhere, Gibbs Cadiz sided [or did he??] with Janette in his ‘Misrepresents,’ my foot post…

wasn’t this a fun week?? LOL

Ciao, sweetie…

Interestings Friday #6

(c)

it is Friday once again and i am due for another episode of Interestings Friday… i know, i know, i missed last week’s episode and this is only due to the fact that i was sooo busy last week, and not because there isn’t anything intersting in the blogosphere… so, for this week’s IF#6, here are some [some, since i know there are more out there] of the interesting reads i found:

• GM T’s The Politics of MMORPGs talks about politics, not in real life, but when people play online games… he talks about power-grabbing, and wanting to be the strongest, the richest or the most famous… which is ever-present in our daily life… read and learn…
• in Yuga’s latest post, The Top 50k blogs generate $500 Million?, showed a study by the University of Texas that a total of 50,000 blogs generated half a billion dollars in revenue… prolly either though advert-tising or direct sales… hmmmm… i wonder when i’ll get even 1% of that money from my blog??
• Shari, talks about her most favorite subjects in life, On Dildos, Vibrators, and My New Lighter… be abused amused, and be ready to bawl over with laughter with this post… really funny…

there you go, guys… this week’s edition of IF#6…

Ciao, sweetie…

on getting old and gray, and your purpose in life…

(c)

today found me, very early in the morning mind you, questioning where my life went to and where it is going… yeah, i know… i am not the thinking type, the actually-looking-deep-into-my-life-and-wondering-the-hows-and-whys type… but forgive me if i sound deep today, though… i just feel like it…

ever wondered why you are here in this earth doing your daily grind and seeming to get nothing out of it?? no, not the religious debate as i don’t believe in any of that crap, but more of the physical side… i mean, you get up in the morning, ready yourself for work or school, you grind the whole day, then go home in the afternoon or evening with nothing to show for it… then you do it all over again the next day… yeah, your boss may have been happy with your work, or your school teacher may have been happy with your report… but that is THEIR happiness, not yours… how about you? shouldn’t your goal be working towards your happiness? does a paycheck at the end of every workweek constitute happiness?? again, i don’t know that was why i was asking…

at least, when playing a game, you have somewhere to go to, or something to do, or a goal you work towards for… but with life?? what really is our primary goal? again, no religious stuff, please, as i have had that all my life and i am tired listening to all that bull… what is your final goal in life?? can anyone talk to the dead?? because if you can, i would like for us to do a seance and i have a multitude of questions to ask… and i may even pay!!

no, really… kidding aside, i would like to ask the dead if they ever lived their life as fully as they liked… if they know why they were here on earth in the first place, and if they will ever come back again given the chance… i would like to know all of these so that i’d know what to do…

then again, you may ask: isn’t bringing up a son or a daughter to be good enough? or keeping a good family life enough? enough for what? for whom? of course i’d bring up a good son or daughter… of course, i’d very much like a good life, thank you… but all of these for whom?

can you answer me, please? please??

oh, and a Happy Birthday to me… [darn it!! almost forgot...]

Ciao, sweetie…

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Interestings Friday #5

(c)

it is Friday once again, the work week is ending [for some of us, at least], and it is time once more for a new edition of IF #5… in no particular order, they are:

• have you already seen the latest release of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix? you loved it? liked it? or simply hated it? well, i am one of those who felt i was cheated right after watching that movie with my wife… it was like the whole thing was forced upon the viewers, the plot was going crazy with speed [must be on drugs], the characters suddenly became too mature and too serious… if this was what can be expected with the next release, i’ll just stay with the books and forget about the movies… darn… if you really really loved the book and don’t mind a few [a few??] ho-hum scenes of the movie, then go ahead watch, but if you are after that fun feeling after a movie, you’d be dissapointed with this one… Skye of Superficial.nu termed it aptly — a complete suck-athon!!
• there are 3 contests which are aimed at bloggers… they are: SEO Philippines’ [and not DigitalFilipino.com's as previously reported... my bad...] Paradise Philippines – The P600,000 Bayanihan SEO Contest, the SM Hypermarket Blog Writing Contest, and PinoBlogospher.com’s Wika2007… if you are into these kinds of contests, then head on over to the sites i mentioned and you just might win… balato ko, ha?? hehehe…

that’s it for now… see you all again next week!!

Ciao, sweetie…
[techtags: Harry Potter, Contests]

compulsory helmet rule… not compulsory anymore??

(c)

i was driving along Gil Puyat Avenue [formerly known as Buendia Avenue] last week to attend an interview with LevelUp Games and to pick up my wife when, all of a sudden, a very big sound suddenly whizzed by my side… when i looked, it was a big bike with a lone rider… i immediately whipped my camera out of its case, and took this photo…

now, what’s sooo wrong with that picture?? forget about the blue color [nope, it was not raining at the time] nor the grainy image… forget also that you can see the top part of my steering wheel…

naww… see that man on top of the steering wheel?? riding a motorcycle?? conveniently weaving in and out of traffic?? well, if you still do not know what’s wrong, HE IS NOT WEARING A HELMET!! and this was in Makati to boot!!

now, isn’t wearing a helment, whether in Makati or other places, whether alone or with a passenger, compulsory??

Dictionary.com defines compulsory as:

com·pul·so·ry [kuhm-puhl-suh-ree] –adjective
required; mandatory; obligatory: compulsory education.

simply put, all motorcycle drivers and passengers MUST wear a helmet… is he a cop? even so!! more so!! i have often seen MMDA traffic aides riding motorcycles, sometimes even in tandem, and both of ‘em not wearing helmets!! i thought there was a law regarding this??

here’s another fool rider not wearing his helmet taken on the same day, this time along Jupiter also in Makati…

do they have a death wish or something?? don’t they know that if they get hit by a four-wheeled vehicle, they will surely suffer a head injury, or worse a mortal wound?? apparently, they don’t care about their lives [and neither do the policemen and traffic aides, both of which abound in Makati] and the lives of the people around them… these daredevils/stuntmen/hellriders of our streets must be stopped immediately!!

Ciao, sweetie…
[techtags: motorcycle, helmet]